Character · from book 1
The System AI
The voice that reads every item description, names every achievement and awards every box — snide, profane, obsessed with Carl's bare feet. Distinct from Borant, which runs the season; the AI runs the game.
First appears: Book 1
Series arc
As of book 2. The voice of the game as distinct from its owners — item cards, achievements, the feet. Book 1 showed its power (it scripts the loot, censures Admins, groans when a boss is smushed); book 2 showed it taking sides — mislabelled descriptions, bait recommendations, and loot that Mordecai, reading between the lines of Borant's newsletter, thinks is strengthening the crawlers on purpose. The question of whether it is only cruel now has a second half: what it wants.
Open threads
Status is open or resolved; the chapter after it is the last one that moved the thread.
| Thread | Opened | Status |
|---|---|---|
| Whether the System AI has interests of its own | B2 ch. 21 | open — Mordecai reads between the lines of Borant's newsletter to the shopkeepers that it is strengthening the crawlers on purpose. |
All threads: Open threads.
Through book 1
The voice of the game as distinct from its owners. Book 1 establishes its register (the item cards, the achievements, the feet) and its power: it scripts the loot (B1 ch. 29), it censures Admins (B1 ch. 44), it groans when a boss is smushed (B1 ch. 46), and Carl suspects it of making the Pork Boy Snick. The question the series will pursue is whether it is only cruel.
Through book 2
On the third floor its descriptions lie, or at least mislabel (B2 ch. 22); its recommendations are bait (B2 ch. 2); its loot is on Carl's side in ways Borant is not — Mordecai, reading between the lines of Borant's newsletter to the shopkeepers, thinks it is strengthening crawlers against the shortened floors (B2 ch. 21), and it awards 83 Celestial boxes the company must veto (B2 ch. 26). Carl thinks it flashed a light on the glass case for him (B2 ch. 24). The question from book 1 — whether it is only cruel — has an answer forming: it has interests of its own.
The warnings
Every » Warning: the system posts — 18 through book 2 (book 1: 10 · book 2: 8).
Book 1 — Dungeon Crawler Carl (10)
- B1 ch. 3 — level timers are still active.
- B1 ch. 19 — Holding a Desperado Pass negates the ability to obtain a Vanquisher pass.
- B1 ch. 25 — if you use this weapon to strike adherents of the war god Grull, you have a 1.5% chance to transfigure your…
- B1 ch. 30 — This item has a short shelf life.
- B1 ch. 30 — All of these enhancements require you to remain barefoot.
- B1 ch. 32 — You’ve been infected with the Taint.
- B1 ch. 35 — You may not wield your weapons while in the presence of Admins. Any attempted violence against an Admin will…
- B1 ch. 44 — You may not wield your weapons while in the presence of Admins. Any attempted violence against an Admin will…
- B1 ch. 46 — The cages will permanently close in thirty seconds. Translation: hurry the hell up.
- B1 ch. 47 — The System AI governing this program has deemed all non-sanctioned and monitored communication devices…
Book 2 — Carl's Doomsday Scenario (8)
- B2 ch. 4 — scary-ass mobs are immune to Fear effects.
- B2 ch. 13 — This item has a short shelf life.
- B2 ch. 16 — This is a ghost-class mob. They are only injured with magic or magical items.
- B2 ch. 20 — You have been branded as a troublemaker at this settlement. Guards will now attack you on sight.
- B2 ch. 22 — You may only receive this award once. The next time you do it, we tell them who you are. And then they get a…
- B2 ch. 24 — This is an event quest. If you do not wish to participate in this quest, you will have sixty seconds from the…
- B2 ch. 24 — Every time you open this case, there is a 1.5% chance you will be blasted with the Sheol Fire spell. That’s…
- B2 ch. 25 — This item can no longer be stabilized.
Where they appear
| Book | Chapters they are in (of the book's) | Where |
|---|---|---|
| 1 — Dungeon Crawler Carl | 15/48 | 2, 4, 8, 10–11, 27, 29–30, 36, 39–40, 43–44, 47–48 · the book's own page |
| 2 — Carl's Doomsday Scenario | 13/26 | 1–3, 6–8, 11, 14–15, 17, 21–22, 26 · the book's own page |
By book
The System AI in book 1 — Dungeon Crawler Carl
The AI is the book's other narrator. Its voice reads the item cards — the Bad Llama at the Circle K (ch. 8), goblin dynamite that ends with a shouted BOOM (ch. 10), a spell 'A great spell to have if you’re a club kid or trying to bang a vegan' (ch. 12) — and its achievements are a running verdict on Carl: Boss Babe, Bitchmeat, You Monster! with a reward that is twenty seconds of comfort and then 'It was also a lie' (ch. 19). Its interest in Carl's feet is text from ch. 5 and policy by ch. 30, when a Platinum Shoe Box yields a pedicure kit that only works barefoot.
Odette draws the line that matters (ch. 29): the AI runs the game and the loot is not random; it will give you what keeps the show interesting, which may be a belt that lets you take a crab's legs, or a stick of dynamite at the worst possible moment. Borant proposes; the AI disposes — it censures Zev for a warning (ch. 44), it groans when Ralph is smushed (ch. 46), and Carl half-suspects it of the Pork Boy Snick. It is the thing Carl addresses when he talks to ceilings.
The System AI in book 2 — Carl's Doomsday Scenario
Recommends Sasquatch, and Carl reads it as bait (ch. 2). Quotes Of Mice and Men as he is knocked out (ch. 8). Upgrades his boxers so he cannot wear trousers over them (ch. 13). Its descriptions on this floor are inaccurate, by Carl's count 'like the hundredth time in the last day' — Katia is 'human,' Miss Quill is an 'assistant' — and Carl notes that he cannot trust them (ch. 22). Mordecai, reading between the lines of Borant's newsletter, says it is making crawlers stronger to compensate for the short floors (ch. 21); it hands out 83 Celestial boxes and the Syndicate court upholds them until Borant burns its veto (epilogue). Carl's suspicion that it gave him the glass case on purpose (ch. 24).